tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-9636242640510111422024-03-23T02:00:44.949-07:00Star Ashley in WonderlandPart-time Artist, Full-time Mahou BishoujoStar Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.comBlogger316125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-58604437627570676172024-03-23T01:59:00.000-07:002024-03-23T01:59:48.039-07:00Sanity (demo) by Paramore - cover<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/9U9EyXPfWL0" width="320" youtube-src-id="9U9EyXPfWL0"></iframe></div><br /><p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-2885716038854805982024-02-21T03:29:00.000-08:002024-02-21T03:31:08.123-08:00Empty Husk<p>I didn’t catch feelings; I’ve caught a disease.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My heart deceived me, I’m weak in the knees.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Even when I try to make you listen to what I say<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I am merely dismissed in every way.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Should I busy myself just so I won’t dwell inside my head<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">To the point of exhaustion until I’m finally dead?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Why are we together if I’m not important to you?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You’re not doing anything special to make it look like<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>your love is true.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s been more than a decade, how long am I placed on hold?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When I raise this concern, I’m just thrown out into the
cold.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Oh what a dream it is to just instantly die<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Just so I wouldn’t need to prepare for a possible good bye.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Perhaps it’s unfortunate that we’ve ever met.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Because since then, my love for you has been set.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My loyalty, devotion and love didn’t bring me my desired
result.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Instead, I’m left to wait uncertainly and shrug off this
insult.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If only I can finally lose my heart and stop questioning if
you care.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Hopefully by then, there won’t be any love for me to share.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">By then I’ll be an empty husk but at least I’ll be free.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">After all, I’m never certain if you’ll even try to chase
after me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I desired success but it’s failure that holds me down.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">A foolish pauper thinking I could one day have a crown.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If this is all life can offer while I’m still here<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then I would just rather die to let go of all things I hold
dear.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Copyright<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Feb. 21, 2024<o:p></o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-K4H_o2pft-CQrwaXevLnbb2m2ONW3TlDvrPvgmt_C_nA1oC_tH9rNdVDPIHl5fAyOsxi_uAmZsQt5vlvwggELIPvUL-qfNzcm8SAndCEu_s-77C9J9ZlM2BdS8gaA6ke64ooOhyREvahuqgAQ7-oaNJ5DH710KNI-vR4CDTVW4Hku0y0j0glhp2WgWbA/s1550/417683218_1777929986013819_4969988578128819065_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1550" data-original-width="1071" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj-K4H_o2pft-CQrwaXevLnbb2m2ONW3TlDvrPvgmt_C_nA1oC_tH9rNdVDPIHl5fAyOsxi_uAmZsQt5vlvwggELIPvUL-qfNzcm8SAndCEu_s-77C9J9ZlM2BdS8gaA6ke64ooOhyREvahuqgAQ7-oaNJ5DH710KNI-vR4CDTVW4Hku0y0j0glhp2WgWbA/s320/417683218_1777929986013819_4969988578128819065_n.jpg" width="221" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-12827275520088443532024-02-08T03:29:00.000-08:002024-02-08T03:29:14.920-08:00Dreamscape<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Zv9f7szr6etRIR83WRANBw83E8_ocTD-v8bFlC1cCkariIvU_G_z9YostM_XdmE6iwXCcWrfJMzBOVA8TZTtVnixlBggEMYD2rI3DaBaU5f6VxCf6EHCq4FNI48TxGkmj1RvSNU5pKWE_feK1Xx8kMQQBnRhVrbBrv0rqyoiaH-lIfzwIFinfZczEeiL/s1701/405169644_908481207944745_3528448023853222941_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1701" data-original-width="1208" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh8Zv9f7szr6etRIR83WRANBw83E8_ocTD-v8bFlC1cCkariIvU_G_z9YostM_XdmE6iwXCcWrfJMzBOVA8TZTtVnixlBggEMYD2rI3DaBaU5f6VxCf6EHCq4FNI48TxGkmj1RvSNU5pKWE_feK1Xx8kMQQBnRhVrbBrv0rqyoiaH-lIfzwIFinfZczEeiL/s320/405169644_908481207944745_3528448023853222941_n.jpg" width="227" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-5502849623924088802024-02-02T03:34:00.000-08:002024-02-02T03:34:18.002-08:00My love mine all mine by Mitski (cover)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/U1oqmGVDiYQ" width="320" youtube-src-id="U1oqmGVDiYQ"></iframe></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-22018266385318329852023-12-07T03:23:00.000-08:002023-12-07T03:23:45.856-08:00The Doom and Gloom<p></p><p>It's so easy for me to see the doom and gloom.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I won't easily notice the flowers that bloom.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I think I’d rather die than for my goals to become some sort of failure.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I am both obsessed and afraid for my desired future.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>My heart’s so tired making room for people who “loves” without action.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Don’t be surprised by my obvious jaded reaction.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Maybe I’m just not as meant to be blessed as I initially thought.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Because all I see are blessings to other people you’ve brought.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>My dreams are coming true in their lives but not in my own life.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>My own doubts and fears are running uncontrollably rife.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>It’s hard not to feel envy or shame.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Only problems after problems ever came.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>When will misery stop enjoying my company?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Despite everything I do, I feel like a nobody.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I exert so much effort in everything I think, do, or say.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>But I’m just so tired now it’s like I’m just wasting away.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Sometimes I dream of you, wiping away my tears.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>I wish you’ll comfort me and not merely tickle my ears.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>You’ve known me for so long but I feel like you haven’t done enough.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>If only the life you’ve given me wouldn’t be so rough.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Do you see all my hard work that’s not even paying off?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>My armor’s falling apart, leaving me weak and soft.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Please bless me in all the things that I can still try to do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Tell me you’ll never leave or forsake me and prove that it’s true.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Copyright <o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></p>
<p>Dec. 7, 2023</p><p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-38521384488297004922023-12-01T23:53:00.000-08:002023-12-01T23:53:32.940-08:00Dead inside<p>There are times that I wish that I just never met you.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Because I’m not sure whether you love me the same way that I
do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">As times goes by, I thought I’d be more secure.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But now most nights, my mind is numb from torture.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m already in hell but I didn’t think I could get dragged
further.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My life’s grown so pathetic that I’ve become so bitter.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m so tired of taking charge and taking care of everything.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And you don’t even help to inspire me to keep on living.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">What will happen to us, knowing we’re both dead inside?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Do you think our relationship can easily be cast aside?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If only it’s as easy as shutting down my heart, leaving just
my head.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But by then, I’ll probably be as good as dead.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">God, I wish you’d just spare me from all this pain and
shame.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Everyday, in this world, I wish I never came.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Then I wouldn’t always be tired and disappointed over unfulfilled
hopes and dreams.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And not meeting him would save me from heart ache, it seems.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Copyright<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Dec. 2, 2023<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-12394737082312873842023-09-21T04:54:00.007-07:002023-09-21T04:54:49.659-07:00Swarming Flies<p>I thought I’d get used to these thoughts by now</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That the pain it brings would lessen somehow.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tell me, does your chest hurts too, when you think of good
byes<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Or is it only me who has tears in the eyes?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I did and changed it for the better as you requested.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I still kept planning for our future but now I’m exhausted.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">No return from all my investment, hard work, and sacrifice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe deep inside, I’ll never be good enough in your eyes.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Ironic that you say I’m always perfect.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Yet my value to you feels lower than of an insect.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You adversely dismiss my feelings like they’re swarming
flies.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m still waiting patiently until my love for you dies.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">My undying loyalty and devotion to you,<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Over the decade I know you know that it’s true.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">How heavy my heart is that it’s always me taking initial
action.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">When my needs are expressed, sadly just causes unwanted
friction.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">You, and a part of me does think it might be all in my head.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If that’s true, why do I still constantly wish I was dead?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Life isn’t just unfair and unkind to you, you know.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But unlike you, I still dare work hard for my desired
tomorrow.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know expression isn’t your expertise but I wish it shows
in what you do.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">That you actually desire me to be in your life too.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But maybe you’ll just see this as unworthy or a desperate
plea.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If only I knew that right from the start, then I’d leave you
be.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I really am just not that important to you.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I wish I was gone, either way, I’ll never know if it’s true.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Like persistent flies, my love just won’t die even with a
pesticide.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Continuing to love you, now feels more like suicide.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Copyright<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Sept. 21, 2023<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-74340329136140146212023-09-05T04:45:00.002-07:002023-09-05T04:45:42.568-07:00There's still light after darkness<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA9y2AQqWRTWOgnmxLhO16Y1iztIIQnUcE7fysRFyB3yzER48rEvRYjIXHnsPrVRXoKTC3UqP5ME_99ASufgqbjILGESgx2ui8IzH_1djPw_WSKawPJMVunztOlIURiAsz2zbdvn0K_HFIhSVflC2nRm5MUI2bm_v8CGe9E0qFjLGApnWBJ9C2pQf0es_t/s1785/373067912_313120608065803_6144236423549357390_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1785" data-original-width="1141" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgA9y2AQqWRTWOgnmxLhO16Y1iztIIQnUcE7fysRFyB3yzER48rEvRYjIXHnsPrVRXoKTC3UqP5ME_99ASufgqbjILGESgx2ui8IzH_1djPw_WSKawPJMVunztOlIURiAsz2zbdvn0K_HFIhSVflC2nRm5MUI2bm_v8CGe9E0qFjLGApnWBJ9C2pQf0es_t/s320/373067912_313120608065803_6144236423549357390_n.jpg" width="205" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-20454191035932272762023-09-01T23:46:00.001-07:002023-09-01T23:46:42.131-07:00Hoping<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq9VLLVxmWUERll-Vq6sLKBvxaJMtlQHUkGblr7xCvQ1wvqOqbH50XOuPfxxOepJavyHIINZT7O7_hoPsUAHMeNCnQushy8BX7eFGXsoSoqTL0_JLKqYHHAW_qIiuuDJ9KckGZCVgS59Y-5gYb0-OmCdtB0egbKKNl8PsSNlSIEEGa-03m7u7l1guJalPB/s1573/366762047_753828129848265_3225850554128739364_n%20(1).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1573" data-original-width="1021" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjq9VLLVxmWUERll-Vq6sLKBvxaJMtlQHUkGblr7xCvQ1wvqOqbH50XOuPfxxOepJavyHIINZT7O7_hoPsUAHMeNCnQushy8BX7eFGXsoSoqTL0_JLKqYHHAW_qIiuuDJ9KckGZCVgS59Y-5gYb0-OmCdtB0egbKKNl8PsSNlSIEEGa-03m7u7l1guJalPB/s320/366762047_753828129848265_3225850554128739364_n%20(1).jpg" width="208" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-81179206623934541432023-08-23T07:02:00.002-07:002023-08-23T07:02:58.570-07:00Wandering But Not Lost<p> </p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmMPnkbCSwojn-uNSl8wXOcKkFAyVl6dxCMCLHP3aJpxequSwpXs0pJu_16RB_q16pISiRRhgjDM6YxfKL3DmjbCIqxBa8odzg-rilwGdfGSpp6A882yjoPMhVWSyxm8lInykgnfHjYmTwc37vt57fTFO9VrgrI-cquNVa6EBfp7_EixcSbOCSEUUHbC4g/s1701/369722267_255411780652384_1286565032985875306_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1701" data-original-width="1201" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhmMPnkbCSwojn-uNSl8wXOcKkFAyVl6dxCMCLHP3aJpxequSwpXs0pJu_16RB_q16pISiRRhgjDM6YxfKL3DmjbCIqxBa8odzg-rilwGdfGSpp6A882yjoPMhVWSyxm8lInykgnfHjYmTwc37vt57fTFO9VrgrI-cquNVa6EBfp7_EixcSbOCSEUUHbC4g/s320/369722267_255411780652384_1286565032985875306_n.jpg" width="226" /></a></div><br /><p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-45085704296853833382023-08-17T06:34:00.001-07:002023-08-17T06:34:13.340-07:00Goodbye to you by Michelle Branch (cover)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/QQiv4NRu9cQ" width="320" youtube-src-id="QQiv4NRu9cQ"></iframe></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-57750398490913196512023-08-14T06:31:00.001-07:002023-08-14T06:34:14.834-07:00Bitter and Black<p><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm not the type of person who
dances in the rain.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I tend to look at my life often
with disdain.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">The people in my life turn
butterflies in my stomach into bile.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I just know deep down spending
my life alone is much more worthwhile.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Why oh why Lord, did you have
to bring me here?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Even your promise, purpose and
will for me is so unclear.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I do what's best and that
includes things that will honor you.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Yet the prayers that hurt me
the most, none of it is coming true.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Maybe you should kill me now
and get it over with.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Before I really become someone
in your book who's unfit.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Or maybe you could take me to
greener pastures for a change.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm sure blessing your daughter
wouldn't be so strange.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I wonder how long ago did my
heart started pumping something so bitter and black.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Maybe it's because of
achievements and happiness that I lack.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">It consumes me and almost all
the time I wonder<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">If I am only here on earth just
to suffer.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm serving you my cup of coffee;
would you care to drink?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Will you save me? You know that
my soul is quick to sink.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Decades of this life is enough
for me to desire eternal rest.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I think I've had enough that
I've burnt out my best.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Copyright <o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Aug. 14, 2023<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7s3qBT52_Bk8ZquEZGC096OjcYNxJsysXbCEZTRsg-Bm2y2n3rOabC4ybMT6vg-l2viZuzO0vgTvBouuTfqfYC5rQQb34QE_PUPagysXOl06uedhzERVM15uJe_LfzNC831ofRzSe7YceYj-kOO2lDMY_T4wp85dBHBY3ANSF5X82L775QQEo7ISqQMMc/s1853/367423020_642327640992447_6354393023890319815_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1853" data-original-width="1281" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj7s3qBT52_Bk8ZquEZGC096OjcYNxJsysXbCEZTRsg-Bm2y2n3rOabC4ybMT6vg-l2viZuzO0vgTvBouuTfqfYC5rQQb34QE_PUPagysXOl06uedhzERVM15uJe_LfzNC831ofRzSe7YceYj-kOO2lDMY_T4wp85dBHBY3ANSF5X82L775QQEo7ISqQMMc/s320/367423020_642327640992447_6354393023890319815_n.jpg" width="221" /></a></div><br /><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-50230205063718664742023-08-12T01:33:00.001-07:002023-08-12T03:28:12.699-07:00Deadly ColdA crumpled piece of paper,<div>A flower about to wither.</div><div>I wonder where I went wrong.</div><div>Like all of the above, I'm not that strong.</div><div>-</div><div>Is it possible to feel nothing and everything simultaneously?</div><div>I'm starting to regret ever taking my life so seriously.</div><div>All those years of hard work, I thought it would result to my dreams coming true</div><div>But it's all too far from that, no matter what I do.</div><div>-</div><div>I'm drowning again over a myriad of unwelcome feelings.</div><div>It makes me gravely envy successful human beings.</div><div>In every aspect it seems my life is falling apart.</div><div>I don't even know how to fix it or where to even start.</div><div>-</div><div>Am I not allowed to be upset over things you could've controlled?</div><div>Like unpredictable winds you're cool but then you turn deadly cold.</div><div>In troubles you're quick to forget the love that we shared.</div><div>It makes me doubt that you ever truly cared.</div><div>-</div><div>Life's already hard for both of us, I wish you'd go easy on me.</div><div>If only you'll offer comfort, loyalty and security.</div><div>Instead, you stab me with words that are present in my mind even on my happier days.</div><div>You, on the other hand, may be very angry but still unfazed.</div><div>-</div><div>Oh how my heart aches and yearns only for you every day.</div><div>But it's difficult for you to follow through with what you say.</div><div>Hence, I feel like I'm the only one who gives the best.</div><div>When will it be your turn and then my time to rest?</div><div>-</div><div>Why does it seem like I'm more hurt than you?</div><div>Is it because I give more than you do?</div><div>You would've thought that from all the years we have together</div><div>That by now you would've promised love forever.</div><div>-</div><div>I know I deserve the best for everything that I do.</div><div>But my heart knows no logic or how to forget you.</div><div>You don't even deserve any more of my tears.</div><div>I've already cried a sea of it over the years.</div><div>-</div><div>It seems my overwhelming sadness is taking its toll.</div><div>Dear death, come out, come out, and swallow me whole!</div><div>Maybe I'll only ever be loved by the one who created me</div><div>But the fact that I was born doesn't make me happy.</div><div>-</div><div>All my life I've been carrying it all on my shoulders yet they say it's all temporary.</div><div>All of it is still unresolved and unending, quite the contrary!</div><div>I just wish I could morally and legally leave everything and everyone behind.</div><div>Most of my miserable time, life has been perpetually unkind.</div><div>-</div><div>Giving up feels a lot easier than to be strong and carry on.</div><div>I don't want to be left behind; I want to be the one who will be gone.</div><div>At times, I also want to end it all but I'm afraid of what comes after.</div><div>I don't think I can deal with another possible disaster.</div><div>-</div><div>From a small matter, why'd it have to escalate so quickly?</div><div>I didn't know that your festered feelings spoken out loud could kill me.</div><div>Half of me still prays we can resolve this before you think of tossing me like a crumpled paper.</div><div>Can't you just be the sunlight that will not let me wither?</div><div>-</div><div>Copyright </div><div>Star Ashley Cruz</div><div>Aug. 12, 2023</div>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-90048014202017061982023-08-09T04:58:00.002-07:002023-08-09T04:58:36.006-07:00Selfie<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLMwLU1O0iDSwxSY7tXjweYELKZVA3byozacySOofJNMI1OjyCtI9YZ0zPXUs6xCXD16Q3l7iPogwoakHNV8iGruS8TMIyYt6xuL73WMcvU-u7Il-I0GxDxBTfa58pAMTQFyS5AJBePJ_aZ6SdTdSj3xhrz21DW-jvnuGaQK9-wZ6dcD0t3ebd-oSGakUV/s1697/357331667_690791746200955_7849624665228917598_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1697" data-original-width="1133" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLMwLU1O0iDSwxSY7tXjweYELKZVA3byozacySOofJNMI1OjyCtI9YZ0zPXUs6xCXD16Q3l7iPogwoakHNV8iGruS8TMIyYt6xuL73WMcvU-u7Il-I0GxDxBTfa58pAMTQFyS5AJBePJ_aZ6SdTdSj3xhrz21DW-jvnuGaQK9-wZ6dcD0t3ebd-oSGakUV/s320/357331667_690791746200955_7849624665228917598_n.jpg" width="214" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-17070844008157660992023-08-05T00:23:00.001-07:002023-08-05T00:25:31.946-07:00My Heart's Desires<p>I'm so tired and I wanted to give up on everything.</p><p>But you reach out your hand, the grip became everlasting!</p><p>I'm disgusted with my heart as dark as coal.</p><p>It is filled with nothing good and has a hole.</p><p>-</p><p>But why do you fill it with undeserved love?</p><p>Your blood is streaming down to fill it from above.</p><p>You're trying to set me free and that's the ultimate bliss!</p><p>But why do I instead tend to still find things amiss?</p><p>-</p><p>I'm caught between my high horse and having my face down the ground.</p><p>When will I be perfected like you so I can please you and not be hell bound?</p><p>I don't want to bring you shame and disappointment.</p><p>Change me to be perfect in whatever assignment.</p><p>-</p><p>The state of my life right now, is it merely the work of the enemy?</p><p>I don't want it to be my forever reality!</p><p>I want my life to have more than just constant exhaustion.</p><p>I want your love, peace and never-ending redemption.</p><p>-</p><p>I know I'm selfish, I'm asking so much from you.</p><p>But in this wilderness, you're the only one who can help me through.</p><p>And you're so big, you hold the universe in your hand!</p><p>From nothing you designed me so surely, only you can understand!</p><p>-</p><p>Are these part of your will, the desires of my heart?</p><p>It's hard to achieve, I don't even know how or where to start.</p><p>Oh this must be the irony of our free will.</p><p>Even the seemingly right desires and plans are hard to fulfill.</p><p>-</p><p>Copyright</p><p>Star Ashley Cruz</p><p>Aug. 5, 2023</p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-30164454602496375262023-08-01T04:28:00.001-07:002023-08-01T04:28:05.005-07:00Crystal Fairy<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJdLm0E_jeDJrmiIzDf2PQcglfy-uZ9RRZRs8kGo0c2G0QL77tH9ymoq8n6AgE6dvyz-8isFpIfhmUYhOEDkCqUH17_VjeradgBhDIy_2us_VSpN6p8tdAg-KPp0t5DGy3aYUDQkPy83e8ek2giuO-Zbs14TZvUwaRCPPtS7jCN5GVYWGoETwh3hn5EXti/s2017/358600204_146503521811706_975943272382597232_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="2017" data-original-width="1377" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiJdLm0E_jeDJrmiIzDf2PQcglfy-uZ9RRZRs8kGo0c2G0QL77tH9ymoq8n6AgE6dvyz-8isFpIfhmUYhOEDkCqUH17_VjeradgBhDIy_2us_VSpN6p8tdAg-KPp0t5DGy3aYUDQkPy83e8ek2giuO-Zbs14TZvUwaRCPPtS7jCN5GVYWGoETwh3hn5EXti/s320/358600204_146503521811706_975943272382597232_n.jpg" width="218" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-10049892754961129532023-06-10T02:15:00.002-07:002023-06-10T02:15:18.728-07:00Eyes wide shut by Illenium, Avril Lavigne, Travis Barker and Unstoppable by Sia (covers)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Ni6HrEvKzs4" width="320" youtube-src-id="Ni6HrEvKzs4"></iframe></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/_0bzM_7aA3M" width="320" youtube-src-id="_0bzM_7aA3M"></iframe></div><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-76184188951275487462023-05-30T03:42:00.001-07:002023-05-30T03:45:36.102-07:00Nails<p>Sometimes I want to die just so I can finally have some
rest!</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Being away from everyone and everything sounds absolutely
the best.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It seems that from minor to major hardships, I want to give
up.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Does that mean my faith in you shall fully stop?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I do not want my life to just end that way!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I still pray to fulfill my purpose and look back on a
meaningful life someday!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I thought being alone inside my head will make me fine.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But instead, I’m crushed by these heavy thoughts of mine.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I must be a masochist, letting myself endure so much pain.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I always think it must be a treasure, what I’ll gain.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I always work hard towards my goal and desired result.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m not even there yet and I’m tired. Is it all my fault?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Tell me God, do you like blessing other people but me?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">They receive everything I want, sometimes even for free!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">While here I am, aging and toiling away to death.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I still want to look at all the promises you’ve kept.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are these the same nails digging into my skin?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">But I’m not like you, my patience is beyond wearing thin.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I know this life is evanescent, but still!<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I hoped some dreams wouldn’t at least be too hard to
fulfill.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Look at the people around me, they got their life together.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Mine is embarrassing and can cause hideous laughter.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m still trying to find my way out of this darkness.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Please don’t leave me to be devoured by this madness.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Copyright<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">May 30, 2023<o:p></o:p></p><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw2MaKL3vGJZ611UiOyLniZoGs-KsGM4EKGmiKpIgLolbI-_358w7NQXUuV7u_og7TFSXT27ohCuSsgIG-29XDaU_iSMqtOvBDaSf8wsE4j5JpVoAgXAqJzWK1KKC39HXw6kdaq_AAgv_0sae7KjbHgjQ1vePnaP2QgpBCo1eAX9R8MSfqiH9WF7JscA/s1965/nails.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1965" data-original-width="1393" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw2MaKL3vGJZ611UiOyLniZoGs-KsGM4EKGmiKpIgLolbI-_358w7NQXUuV7u_og7TFSXT27ohCuSsgIG-29XDaU_iSMqtOvBDaSf8wsE4j5JpVoAgXAqJzWK1KKC39HXw6kdaq_AAgv_0sae7KjbHgjQ1vePnaP2QgpBCo1eAX9R8MSfqiH9WF7JscA/s320/nails.jpg" width="227" /></a></div><br /><p class="MsoNormal"><br /></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-90958295141103111542023-04-22T01:49:00.003-07:002023-04-22T01:49:47.872-07:00Maggots<p>My mind is filled with thoughts of you.</p><p>They bring me joy but despair too.</p><p>I wish our lives were rather smooth</p><p>Because that itself is far from the truth.</p><p>-</p><p>I wanted you to fill the void in my heart</p><p>But you don't know how or where to start.</p><p>Your efforts and initiative - I waited ever so patiently.</p><p>A decade and some years passed by quietly.</p><p>-</p><p>But now maggots have reached through my skin.</p><p>Not fully aware that I was dying within.</p><p>All these festering feelings have my lungs drowning.</p><p>Is this necessary in the cross that I'm carrying?</p><p>-</p><p>My brave face is starting to deteriorate.</p><p>Being together - is that really not our fate?</p><p>I'm so lost and I feel that my hope for us grew dim.</p><p>I feel like our chance is now frighteningly slim.</p><p>-</p><p>If it's not 'meant to be' then let's make it to be!</p><p>But why does it feel like you put lesser efforts than me?</p><p>I'm doing everything for us, not just for my own ambitions</p><p>But you're not doing enough, based on my calculations.</p><p>-</p><p>Copyright</p><p>Star Ashley Cruz</p><p>Apr. 22, 2023</p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-16405387928065868462023-04-01T22:33:00.003-07:002023-04-01T22:33:45.284-07:00Junior Hell<p><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">When will I get out of this
junior hell?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I have zero zest for life, I'm
sure you can tell.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">The people around me seem to
take me for granted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">This is never the life I
prepared for or wanted.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Every day and in everything, I
do my best.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">But why oh why am I subjected
to a difficult test.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">In life, I'm trying to achieve
the best attainable quality<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">But despite my efforts, it's
still far from my reality.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Honestly, these aren't too much
to ask of you!<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">After all, you're the one who
brought me into this world too.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I don't think it's bad to ask
for what will give me joy.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Surely, I wasn't created to be
merely a little toy.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm so sad, tired and I feel
like I've dried up all my tears.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">My mind is drowned and devoured
by so many fears.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Over the years, I'm losing the
hope that I've kept.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">This is the kind of life I
could never want or accept.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm still praying, perhaps deep
down, I refuse to give up?<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">I'm still hoping my hardships
will be put to a stop.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Lord, please help me work on
solutions in any way.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Then maybe I can still feel
like living another day.<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">-<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Copyright<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></span></p>
<p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;">Apr. 1 2023<o:p></o:p></span></p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span></p><p style="-webkit-text-stroke-width: 0px; font-variant-caps: normal; font-variant-ligatures: normal; orphans: 2; text-decoration-color: initial; text-decoration-style: initial; text-decoration-thickness: initial; widows: 2; word-spacing: 0px;"></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAut_iEIfwyAxz4WqN_cbcdfJojnaKcewmogiXXnVHu3E0HfB57iK8a-OZcREIFAgt2tUrbkiFs0xcq02NeEGNq-gog8-XGxs8xwaE15DBrHCJ3Fa2TZkI0WlLkF37iDsGMJvreCBV-8cofyWi3BxrvB4PFHKKSMc__Lr8P4GPU1S8-12oddI2aZ50cA/s1737/336744902_747600013611503_2217365617257157698_n.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1737" data-original-width="1169" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiAut_iEIfwyAxz4WqN_cbcdfJojnaKcewmogiXXnVHu3E0HfB57iK8a-OZcREIFAgt2tUrbkiFs0xcq02NeEGNq-gog8-XGxs8xwaE15DBrHCJ3Fa2TZkI0WlLkF37iDsGMJvreCBV-8cofyWi3BxrvB4PFHKKSMc__Lr8P4GPU1S8-12oddI2aZ50cA/s320/336744902_747600013611503_2217365617257157698_n.jpg" width="215" /></a></div><br /><span style="color: black; font-size: 13.5pt;"><br /></span><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-88627694835021582162023-03-24T23:53:00.002-07:002023-03-24T23:53:26.688-07:00A bit of light and a bit of darkness<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4EkhjYc6rRTjFsOPRTtlAI7Xmw31tWa5YrZqforA3b1hJfKPb3nWi9jJxUAVrkiCi2dsSAidVRuM4YoJPFo9leUtzmN1pJxv7FDURlHrrb_kyVjBrdDJXM0zggEVD1yxKpEVKsQgmOZlZnrYYRbQy2MyJFj1F54DhQOfKXetqM6kjvvQgUlmyTYTfbA/s1941/a%20bit%20of%20light%20and%20a%20bit%20of%20darkness.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1941" data-original-width="1521" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi4EkhjYc6rRTjFsOPRTtlAI7Xmw31tWa5YrZqforA3b1hJfKPb3nWi9jJxUAVrkiCi2dsSAidVRuM4YoJPFo9leUtzmN1pJxv7FDURlHrrb_kyVjBrdDJXM0zggEVD1yxKpEVKsQgmOZlZnrYYRbQy2MyJFj1F54DhQOfKXetqM6kjvvQgUlmyTYTfbA/s320/a%20bit%20of%20light%20and%20a%20bit%20of%20darkness.jpg" width="251" /></a></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-39659312339831848932023-03-18T22:47:00.000-07:002023-03-18T22:47:05.048-07:00JOB HIRING❕❕❕ JOB OPENINGS ❕❕❕ <p>Disclaimer: I'm only posting this ad for a friend. I am not directly affiliated with this company. </p><p>💰 Salary range (depending on the role): 40k-50k</p><p><br /></p><p>💻Receptionist VA (healthcare)</p><p>- Note Taking</p><p>-Call Routing</p><p>- Admin Support</p><p>- Medical data entry and calendar management</p><p>💻Support VA (healthcare)</p><p>- Appointment medical setting and scheduling</p><p>- email and chat support</p><p>- data entry </p><p>💻Medical VA (healthcare)</p><p>-Medical Records Management</p><p>-Prescription Management</p><p>-Patient Monitoring</p><p>-billing and coding</p><p>-patient data analysis and reporting</p><p><br /></p><p>✔️Job requirements:</p><p>-Has a 4-year college degree (Medical degree is not required but preferred)</p><p>-With at least 1-year experience in BPO or as VA for US or UK clients</p><p>- Certification is a plus</p><p>-Capable and fluent in English communication (written and spoken).</p><p>-Willing and able to work fixed night shifts or mid-shift.</p><p><br /></p><p>✔️System Requirements:</p><p>-PC/Laptop at least intel core i5 8GB RAM (Main and Backup)</p><p>-Stable wired/LAN internet connection at least 25mbps -speed (Main and Backup)</p><p>-Noise cancellation headset</p><p>If you are interested, kindly send your CV/Resume here : uk.healthcare.va@gmail.com </p><p>Any further information will be discussed by the recruiter/s.</p><p>Kindly keep your lines open as they will contact successful candidates. Thank you and best of luck!</p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-61168353817349309112023-02-08T03:50:00.002-08:002023-02-08T03:50:20.086-08:00Jesus my Savior by Victory Worship Music (cover)<p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><iframe allowfullscreen="" class="BLOG_video_class" height="266" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/Uj0o9_XPof8" width="320" youtube-src-id="Uj0o9_XPof8"></iframe></div><br /> <p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-57932528857046666492023-02-03T23:55:00.004-08:002023-02-03T23:56:15.574-08:00Misanthrope's rope<p>The world is moving too fast, I got left behind.</p><p class="MsoNormal"><o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’m all alone in this world is what I find.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’ve never felt so small deep inside.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I’d feel embarrassed or ashamed to confide.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Adjusting my standards just to make ends meet.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Only receiving the bare minimum in a life, I can’t cheat.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Maybe I deserve this cause I’m a self-absorbed, arrogant
bitch.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">No matter how hard I toil away, I don’t get rich.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">It’s not like a simple life looks bad to me.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Just peer into my mind and heart, you will see.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">In life, I just want something mine, stable and secured.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Instead, I get a family I didn’t create where I’m constantly
tortured.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Now I’m the man of the house because our life didn’t give me
a choice.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Being left alone and resting at times are my only chance to
taste simple joys.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Witnessing and/or experiencing toxicity from relatives and
even family.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">And people still dare to wonder why I practice and engage in
misanthropy.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Are my heart’s desires really hard to please?<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">If I can’t have them, I wish to cease.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Lord, help me see beyond this scope of darkness and give me
hope.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">I think I’m losing my mind; I’m nearing the end of my rope.<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">-<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Copyright<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Star Ashley Cruz<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal">Feb. 4 2023<o:p></o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc28IxbpomMCBrpptLC-1dSkVa0B-lVn2oAsSdddAtxuKKLUN_3uIbRTNN0ZJm1icKSK8dr89rtxi26aETR1p_HWE2R6Tg23HTtogwZeI-c9P5HB7BpDXNJqXVYHP4fD44rg3l94koLsB5p0ACbU8z__An_iXoNawOVqN2CEzldk_awtQd63PwfzwglQ/s1885/Misanthrope's%20rope.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1885" data-original-width="1197" height="320" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjc28IxbpomMCBrpptLC-1dSkVa0B-lVn2oAsSdddAtxuKKLUN_3uIbRTNN0ZJm1icKSK8dr89rtxi26aETR1p_HWE2R6Tg23HTtogwZeI-c9P5HB7BpDXNJqXVYHP4fD44rg3l94koLsB5p0ACbU8z__An_iXoNawOVqN2CEzldk_awtQd63PwfzwglQ/s320/Misanthrope's%20rope.jpg" width="203" /></a></div><br /><p></p>
<p class="MsoNormal"><o:p> </o:p></p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-963624264051011142.post-6126571952475027482023-01-28T01:23:00.001-08:002023-01-28T01:23:05.160-08:00Ultimate Source<p>I wish I didn't fall in love, as being alone suits me the best</p><p>But now my will and entire being is put to the test.</p><p>If only I didn't meet the one I want to spend my life with</p><p>Because starting a family or buying a house, I can't afford it.</p><p>-</p><p>All my hard work is too slow to pay off.</p><p>I don't want to be incapable, underachieving and soft.</p><p>The pity I receive feels like I'm a laughing stock among my friends and peers.</p><p>The thought of such shame, I'd rather be alone and drown in my tears.</p><p>-</p><p>I'll do my best not to be haughty when I'm finally at the top!</p><p>It's just that I want to achieve my goals, I can't stop!</p><p>I want to have them before I turn to dust.</p><p>I feel like to be happy, fulfilling these things is a must.</p><p>-</p><p>I'm sorry, but isn't it you who designed me this way?</p><p>It seems in the purpose of my life, nothing goes smoothly, sad to say.</p><p>I'm sorry I feel discontented and anxious about my life's current state.</p><p>Surely in your hands, this won't be my last fate?</p><p>-</p><p>I don't want to resign myself to such a dim outlook.</p><p>Please don't let me be lonely when you close my book!</p><p>I still want to believe in you, I badly do!</p><p>I want to finish what you've started in me too.<br /><br /></p><p>-</p><p>Copyright</p><p>Star Ashley Cruz</p><p>Jan. 26, 2023</p>Star Ashleyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12822084522232864980noreply@blogger.com0