Merely Surviving

Another year that I’m still here

Problems catching up behind me, I fear.

Am I supposed to learn something from this perpetual hardship

When I can’t even afford a house ownership?

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Dying is massively more practical than living.

I’m so tired of a life wherein I’m merely surviving.

God can give blessings, but he can take away.

But what if you only had little to begin with, anyway?

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They say hard work pays off, well, not in this generation and economy!

It’s not easy when you’re carrying something heavy on your shoulders – an entire family!

A dead father, a sick mother, and an unemployed brother.

To hope or dream about my own life and goals, I don’t have time to bother!

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Sacrificing my own happiness, what do I even gain?

There’s only unending sorrow and agonizing pain.

Nothing. Nothing feels even the tiniest bit rewarding.

Tell me, God, why should I even go on living?

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I know, I know – I should carry my cross every day.

But I’m no savior, it’s too heavy for me in every way.

I know you can bless other people, that ability is true.

Can you please, please, please do that for us too?

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It’s just the beginning of the year and I already want my life to end.

I wish you’ll come to our aid and that favor; you’ll send.

I’m starting to think that others are right with life having no meaning.

That adversity has no lesson at times and is just sheer suffering.

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Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Jan. 21, 2025