Star Ashley's sanctuary

Star Ashley's sanctuary
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Tuesday, March 13, 2018

My Anxiety

All the things that worry me
Can drive anyone to insanity
I wish I could concentrate on the present
But my mind is elsewhere and I'm absent
I need more than just a distraction
I need a constant reliable companion.
If left alone, my mind will be my destruction
Which will lead me to great devastation
Life is a consistent daily battle
All it does is to scare and to rattle.
All day long my brain searches for an answer
Why everything ends up a disaster.
They always come when you least expect it.
It feels uneasy like clothes that don't fit.
I wish there are things that can be granted immediately
Especially in situations that require great urgency.
Life's not easy -  a lesson I've learned daily
Sometimes in a manner I've noted painfully.
I'm always tense, anxious and agitated
Sometimes I think I should be rehabilitated.
Copyright Star Ashley Cruz
March 13 2018

Saturday, February 3, 2018

What on earth will happen to me?

How and why did my life end up this way?
I feel so stressed and depressed everyday.
My image of a happy family has sadly shattered
Because Dad died. None thereafter mattered.
I'm always busy keeping myself sane
In spite of me going through so much pain.
Dear Jesus, I want to keep trusting you.
But my poor soul does not know what to do.
The happiness and wealth in our lives we once had,
In a few years time has long since drowned in quicksand.
Presently my family has been reduced to people of three.
My dear God, I don't know what on earth will happen to me.
I'm so desperate to get out of this miserable state
But I'm chasing wind and creating my own fate.
I know I should trust you but I;m afraid of my tomorrow.
I dread that my life only leads to nothing but sorrow.
Please be kind to me, I'm drowning in my own tears.
I'm wallowing in self-pity and my own fears.
Sometimes I just want to die and be with you
But then I think that my mission is not yet through.
Copyright Star Ashley Cruz
February 4, 2018

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