Abomination

I am worst off than before

I just can’t take it anymore.

I thought I was already redeemed

But I feel so heavy, I have sinned.

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I want to be more like you

But the opposite is what I do

Am I even really your daughter?

Why am I nothing like God the father?

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Why is it so easy for me to sin?

Such evil desires come from within.

I’m supposed to be your living testimony

But I can’t, so I drown in melancholy.

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I thought the old is gone and I’m a new creation

But all the people see is an abomination.

I can’t even disagree with what they say,

I’m so desperate all I can do is pray.

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At this point my faith is so unsteady.

When will my soul ever be ready?

I’m afraid that someday it’ll be too late for me,

That only death will be my eternity.

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Copyright Star Ashley Cruz

April 8, 2018