Eldest Daughter

I’m the eldest daughter, I could probably afford to move out

If I didn’t have to feed other useless people’s mouth.

Ever incompetent, they always find ways to make things hard for me.

Hard to believe other people actually enjoy building a family.

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A dead father meant I’m the new man of the house.

Oh great, more responsibilities I can endlessly browse.

How difficult to be an adult when I was only in my teens without any support or training.

Oh what a relief it would be to leave everyone by instantly dying.

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Unfulfilled dreams, missed opportunities and wasted potential.

Need I say more to justify my inner mind being suicidal?

I can’t believe I envy people having things handed to them on a silver platter

Without having to even lift a finger to obtain things that don’t even matter.

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I’m logical and efficient but being sandwiched by problems can take their toll.

A little more nudge and my head might actually roll.

I’d rather be alone than be locked in this cage,

Burning all the time from holding on to my boiling rage.

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Life’s difficulties tend to find me within firing range.

I wonder what it’s like to have someone to rely on and take care of me for a change.

I desire solitude but it’s only because everyone has made me perpetually exhausted.

I only have one life but it’s so tiring to make sure it’s not painfully wasted.

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Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Dec. 14, 2024