My, it’s so embarrassing to say,
That I lose my temper every day.
I curse the people all around me,
And see myself drown in my superiority.
-
Not really a beauty, now I’m aware that I’m
a beast.
My personality itself feels like a disease.
Only few can love a monster such as me,
They have no choice if they’re my family.
-
Even my dearest thinks I love myself better
than him,
Now my hope for our future is becoming dim.
It pains me to think, write and say another
word,
Knowing I’m very similar to the prince of
this world.
-
Dear Jesus, do you still love me now?
Because my confidence has left me somehow.
Maybe things might’ve been better if I
wasn’t born.
But it can’t be undone, like a paper being
torn.
-
I’ve built and poured myself on so much
expectations,
Thinking it’s perfect, but they’re my
imperfections.
The people around have given up on taming
the monster that is me.
I pray it’s not just the beast that the
Lord can see.
-
Sometimes I want to die or disappear.
Then things might become crystal clear.
If they’ll be lonely when the monster
leaves them alone,
Or will they be happy when I am finally
gone.
-
Copyright Star Ashley Cruz
March 25, 2017
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