Thoughts inside my head

It's always a surprising mystery

When bad things happen to me.

I know it's normal but I don't understand

Why it always felt like I'm sinking on quicksand.

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Is life always going to be this way?

Because I feel like dying everyday.

God, I want to know your plans for me

Please shed some light on this mystery.

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You are perfect so why can't I fully trust you?

I'm selfish and there are things that I'd rather do.

I often don't understand the thoughts inside my head.

This is why I always thought I'm better off dead.

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I'm so frustrated, can't you just give me everything?

But I'll never be contented, nothing's ever satisfying.

I know some of them are either realistic or insane.

Lord please heal me from this pain.

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I'm not sure if the enemy is the devil or myself,

That's why I am in desperate need of your help.

Because the solution is always unknown to me

Yet I know it's you and I want it to be.

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Copyright Star Ashley Cruz

October 28 2017