The monsters were never really under the bed.
Is dying the only way to get them out of my head?
Everyday within grows this dread.
Will I only find peace when I'm dead?
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I try to focus on blessings to feel thankful
But when I see greater lives of others, I grow resentful.
All my life, I try and work hard to be successful.
In an ugly world, I just want a life that's beautiful.
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When will my plans and dreams happen to me?
Am I going to be a loser for all eternity?
The blessings I receive suddenly feel like leftovers from charity.
Why do I keep inviting myself to this pity party?
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I'm torn between giving up and holding on to my plans.
Overall, I'm aware that my future is in God's hands.
I like to believe he knows the very number of my hair strands.
And that he's not just a spectator watching from the stands.
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I want to stay hopeful and have the will to live.
I hope I'm not someone the world finds easy to deceive.
I want to be someone ready for blessings to give and receive.
God, give me hope and help me to still believe.
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Copyright
Star Ashley Cruz
Jan. 20 2023
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