It's so easy for me to see the doom and gloom.
I won't easily notice the flowers that bloom.
I think I’d rather die than for my goals to become some sort of failure.
I am both obsessed and afraid for my desired future.
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My heart’s so tired making room for people who “loves” without action.
Don’t be surprised by my obvious jaded reaction.
Maybe I’m just not as meant to be blessed as I initially thought.
Because all I see are blessings to other people you’ve brought.
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My dreams are coming true in their lives but not in my own life.
My own doubts and fears are running uncontrollably rife.
It’s hard not to feel envy or shame.
Only problems after problems ever came.
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When will misery stop enjoying my company?
Despite everything I do, I feel like a nobody.
I exert so much effort in everything I think, do, or say.
But I’m just so tired now it’s like I’m just wasting away.
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Sometimes I dream of you, wiping away my tears.
I wish you’ll comfort me and not merely tickle my ears.
You’ve known me for so long but I feel like you haven’t done enough.
If only the life you’ve given me wouldn’t be so rough.
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Do you see all my hard work that’s not even paying off?
My armor’s falling apart, leaving me weak and soft.
Please bless me in all the things that I can still try to do.
Tell me you’ll never leave or forsake me and prove that it’s true.
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Copyright
Star Ashley Cruz
Dec. 7, 2023
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