Psalm 127:1-2

"Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is useless. Unless the Lord protects the city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early in the morning to late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones."

What am I trying to achieve?

Is it God's will and purpose? I honestly don't know. I am not sure.

What does this teach me?

- Do everything for God. Do your work excellently without pushing yourself too hard because achievement is at hand despite it all because God guarantees excellence and success. You are his loved one!

- The things you're laying up on earth, seek God's help and grace for it! Without him, it can fall apart easily especially if it's not part of his plans for you. Remember: God's plan is the best of all, even when you don't see it yet. My eyes are not seeing clearly because I'm always in tears for not yet achieving it.

- Pray for it. Pray about it! Keep doing that! Do it all for God!

- God is the ultimate source of security! Don't be so hard on yourself! Depend on God! You don't have to do everything on your own.

Aug. 8. 2022 Journal entry 

 

Why does God allow hardships anyway? It’s often my question. It is often my complaint.

 

Judges 6:13a, 15

And Gideon said to him, “Please, my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?”’ And He said to him, “please, LORD, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.”

 

Looking at Gideon’s encounter with God, we can see that only his ancestors had a personal encounter with God. He didn’t personally experience what was told to him by his ancestors. This causes doubt. Even more so as he looked at his country’s state. They were being enslaved by their enemies – the Midianites.

Like Gideon, we too tend to be doubtful of God when we face trials and difficulties. I’m guilty of this too!

Later on, God reassures Gideon’s doubts and even answers some of his inquiries. And despite everything Gideon thought of himself and everything, God still used him. And God even thought of him differently as a person! God saw Gideon for who he really was and supposed to be.

God is our creator. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He can use us even in the midst of hardships. He’ll grant us grace to accomplish great things.

 

Journal entry of Sept. 1, 2021     

All by God's grace

 Deuteronomy 9:3

But recognize today that the Lord your God is the one who will cross over ahead of you like a devouring fire to destroy them. He will subdue them so that you will quickly conquer them and drive them out, just as the Lord has promised.

The Israelites were stubborn and rebellious people. Despite this, God highly regards his promised and therefore will fulfill it. His people were not pleasing for him but he still ushers them into victory. this also shows how graceful God is! Even today, we are no different but look! God is graceful and kind. He intends to keep his covenant even when we can't. Thank God! And he even made a way for us to fulfill our part - through Christ! God is so sovereign and indeed his ways are higher than ours. He alone can fathom these!

Deuteronomy 9:4-6

After the Lord your God has done this for you, don't say in your hearts, 'the Lord has given this land because we are such good people!' no, it is because of the wickedness of the other nations that he is pushing them out of your way. It is not because you are so good or have such integrity that you are about to occupy their land. The Lord your God ill drive these nations out ahead of you only because of their wickedness, and to fulfill the oath he swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You must recognize that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land because you are good, for you are not - you are stubborn people.

What foes these verses teach us about God?

- God is a just God. He is so holy that he cannot let sinners go unpunished.

- Despite God showing justice and discipline to the world, He remembers his promised to his chosen people.

- Good works cannot save us. Even in the days of the old testament, it shows that God chose to save his stubborn people from enemy nations merely because they are his people and he remembers his promise. It's all by his grace!

Time and time again, God's chosen people disobeyed and rebelled against God, displeasing him to the point of almost destroying them. Moses even tried to persuade and plead with God. In one point of his frustration and anger (I presume) He smashed the stone tablets God entrusted him with. This was because while he was gone, the people made a golden calf as an idol. Despite all this, God listened to Moses and gave his people another chance, not completely destroying them at least.

Who are we today? Are we Moses? God's servant who goes between and pleads with God? Who also tries to lead the people to God? Or re we the stubborn Israelites?

Whichever season we may be in, let's be thankful for Christ being our redeemer, mediator between us and God. He was able to bring Moses' role to a whole new level and even better! And despite his hardships, he remained perfect and sinless. It really is all by God's grace.

Journal entry May 15, 2021

 Deuteronomy 8:17-18

He did all this so you would never say to yourself, 'I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.' Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.

Who and what am I depending on? My work? My salary? My Job title?

Because of the pandemic, working stopped abruptly. My new job was no more. It was a blessing from God that I prayed for and he granted it. But it was taken away. I never wanted to be vacant in terms of employment that I made certain to resign only when I was confirmed to start with my new work. I did not want to be vacant in terms of receiving salary, it seems.

Now, I have no actual and concrete resources. I kept failing job applications. Money was tight. I even blame myself because I had insufficient finances to provide the medical needs of my pet that eventually lead to his death. I felt like using a lot of my savings should've helped him live, but it didn't.

I couldn't help thinking that maybe I was being punished for my sins. But surely, God is merciful! And that Christ took my sins upon him already.

What is God teaching me in this season of uncertainty and hopelessness?

What I learned from my experiences is that I need to depend on God in all aspects of life. My concerns, my worries, etc. My security isn't in my salary, as evidently experienced now. I pray that God will not abandon me. I truly need him.

Journal entry of May 8, 2021

Wilderness

 When the Israelites wandered in the wilderness, according to God's instructions, God provided for them.

The wilderness didn't have much to offer but they were all alive and their needs were met. They even had requests that were granted, yet they complained. I'm not much different.

Deuteronomy 2:7

For the Lord your God has blessed you in everything you have done. He has watched your every step through this great wilderness. During this forty years, The Lord your God has been with you, and you have lacked nothing.

True. 40 years is very long, especially in today's life span. But all throughout, God watched them and it clearly said they lacked nothing!

Right now, the pandemic is around a year and one month. God has richly provided my needs and even my wants! Thank you Lord for this!

A lot of things make me anxious, especially that I live in an uncertain season. But one thing is certain - God! He cared for the stubborn Israelites, surely he cares for me.

Just as the Israelites later arrived in the Promised land, I too can one day be out of the wilderness. Remember, it's all temporary.

Lord, help me remain faithful to you while I'm in the wilderness. And even after I get out of it.

Later in the story, The Lord allowed the King of Heshbon, Sihon, to refuse the Israelites' request to pass through his land. They fought with the, and God gave Israelites the victory.

It was all his plans.

God allows certain trials and obstacles in our lives. But we can conquer them through his direction.

Let him be the direction of your life!

Journal entry of Mar. 27, 2021

Changing Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (CEV)

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season

Philippians 1:6 (LB)

I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns.

- Trees grow maturely but slowly. Like trees, we too grow with the help of time, learnings, nutrients, etc.  Trees grow through sunlight, water, etc. Some other plants are cared by people yet some other plants , even without supervision of people, grow. For instance, God provides rain. Seasons change and trees experience this too.

- trees don't grow overnight. We too, who live in a world of "instant" everything tend to think that things achieved faster are better. But everything takes time. God is never in a hurry because he has perfect timing for everything. Hence, everything in our lives are being allowed and happening for a reason. It all leads to God's purpose being fulfilled in our lives.

- Looking again at trees, some of them grow and die early but some even reach centuries. Sometimes, they even withstand typhoons and become shelter for us. Like the tree, we become strong when we are in Christ. We can withstand storms in life. Take note that this doesn't mean that we're storm-free, but as we grow stronger, we can endure life's trials. Some trees can, but some can't. Maybe they're too young and have not grown strong.

- As mentioned before, trees also experience different seasons in life. All these lead to what we are now. Seasons help us grow. And seasons don't change instantly, they also take time.

- Surrendering to God is a daily activity, not a one-time thing. Everyday, there's a temptation to sin, or choose to abide by our own desires. It's a struggle! But choosing to surrender to God leads to growth and maturity. Acknowledging our need for him is humility and God is pleased with that.

- Nothing is ever easy. This is why we need to ask God for his grace. The good news is that he's willing to give it and that he's the one who began this work in us. It's not in his character to abandon his work in our lives, that's why we can rely on him to help us fulfill the purposes he has for us!

- God is in control. Our failures and guilt may take hold but remember who is in control. Remember who will never leave you. Remember that every season changes. Remember that this life is just temporary and even more so is our problems. They don't define us!

- Having Christ-like character takes so much time, even a lifetime! Our trials on earth may be temporary but our joy in heaven is forever. It will always be a perfect season!

Source and inspiration: Day 28 of the Purpose Driven Life (expanded edition)

From Journal entry of Dec. 2, 2020

 
Revelation 5:9-10

- Jesus was the lamb of sacrifice to God. In the tradition of Jews, they sacrificed a perfect lamb to God. It is an offering to God and it must be healthy, no defects, and often times, the first born. It is supposed to be the best  among all. The sacrifice is unblemished.

- Jesus was the perfect sacrifice because He was sinless. He was also born God and from God as His Son. In short, He was prepared and acceptable as the sacrifice in exchange for us. He offered himself because He wants us all to be reconciled with God.

- It's mentioned that various people are the ones Jesus redeemed. It meant that salvation was not exclusive to a certain race, country, group of people and etc.

- We will be Kings and Priests to God. Kings back then in Biblical times were chosen and anointed carefully. Like us, we were chosen to be loved and even adopted by God! There were so many kings in the Bible with different character and background. They were chosen as leaders of people too. And we are called to lead people to Christ.

- The priests are mediators and they prayed to God on behalf of the sinners back then too. In a way, like the kings, they lead lost people back to God.

- Both the Kings and Priests (us) are to reign on earth. How do we do that? We really are to lead other people back to God!

- We can become like the Kings and Priests God wanted us to be. We can ask for his grace to allow us to fulfill it.

- We don't need to think we "can't do it." Why? Because Jesus was able to sacrifice himself for us and found us worth it. This is even before we knew him! He already knew about us and is aware of our sinfulness. He knew everything about us but still obeyed God's will to die on the cross for us. That shows how much He loved us. He washed us clean from our past, present and future sins! That's why we can be accepted as a Priest and a King.   

From Journal entry Nov. 30, 2020

Don't fall asleep!

 Mark 14: 37-42   

- Jesus prayed too. Even more so when the time of God's will was about to be fulfilled.

- Jesus prayed and poured out his actual feelings to God. He was man too, even as he was God. This is why he had feelings. He felt fearful of what was to come.

- Jesus asked his friends-his disciples to pray with him in his time of need. However, they fell asleep. Like us, sometimes with God or even the people around us who need us the most, we tend to be "asleep." The spirit wants to do what is right but the body itself is weak. Being prepared and alert is important. We must always think about what is important in life and not be distracted, sidetracked or preoccupied by worldly matters. But of course, doing our daily activities is not wrong. We can do things-these mundane things excellently and even with the help of God's grace. The only thing is that, always be reminded of what's truly important, even as we do other things.

-What is this important thing? Don't fall asleep! Even Jesus had a sense of urgency in the great commission. This is despite not knowing when he'll return. Let's not slack off in honoring God in our lives! Let's make an effort to bring lost people to God! God will surely grant us the Grace to do things for him, reward us joys in life and help us fulfill our individual purposes in life.

- Another way to keep awake is to pray. Prayer helps us release to God. Our Father knows what we go through even before we utter a word. But like any good communication, it's essential for us to talk to him. And though we can't always physically hear God, we can listen to his response through his word! (This is personally recommended! He revealed so many things to me through his word.)

- Our prayers may not be answered the way we want to, but always remember that God's ways are higher than ours. We may not see it but his ways are the best. His will prevails. Accepting it humbly and remaining in obedience will please him. He is holy and sovereign. He is God after all. Having said that, He's also Our Father in heaven. Like our earthly fathers, He cares for us and wants the best for us. He is even better than them because he is faultless unlike our own faulty selves.

- Stay awake! God didn't require us to converse with him 24/7, but giving him your best time to read his word and pray pleases him. We can always pray about this and exert effort to make time for him! After all, He gave everything for us. I know we all go through so many things in life but having a special bonding time with God will surely help us along the way.

- Prayer helps in overcoming weakness. We can draw strength from our generous God.

Journal entry of Oct. 26,2020 

Fundamentals of the Christian life - Read the Word (chapter 4: Life on the word)

 What:

... It sustains us in our relationship with God.

- "Sustain" means to maintain; to keep, support or nourish. The Bible is like our vitamins! The Bible is also like water for those who get tired from walking. It's similar in our walk with God!

1. Read the word daily

How did you develop the discipline and devotion for God's word? 

- Personally, reading was easy because I liked to read. The discipline for daily devotion began when I have started to receive a seed which was planted within me. I was eager to know more about Christ! What fueled me to keep doing it despite life's difficult circumstances was my gratitude towards my salvation. Also, God has been faithful in my life and so I wanted to be faithful to him as well.

2. Receive nourishment from the word

What is nourishment? Why is it important?

- To nourish is to feed; to support; to foster; to educate. The word of God is not just our spiritual food, but also it is our source of wisdom - we learn from it.

3. Know Jesus through the word

What is one thing you've learned about Jesus through the Bible? How has this helped you grow in your relationship with him?

- I've learned many things about Jesus in the Bible. But the one that struck me the most is that even before everything, He was already there. In the beginning there's God's word, and He himself is the word. This helped me grow in my relationship with him because I know that Jesus is God. He is powerful beyond human understanding. He is sovereign and omnipresent. This means that He's always with me in my life.

God is composed of three O's:

- Omnipotent - having unlimited power

- Omnipresent - state or quality of being everywhere present

- Omniscient - knowing all things

note that omni is a prefix meaning "all"

Journal entry of Jul. 5, 2016 (discussed by me in the group meeting)

Walking with God

 A close walk with the Lord is an important part of a believer's life.

Levitictus 26:12

The Lord said, "I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people."

- The Bible tells us that maintaining a close walk with God is a command we must obey, not merely a suggestion we may want to consider.

Genesis 17:1

I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless.

- Health professionals suggest that people who want to become physically fit should try a consistent program of walking. Sustained walking several times a week will improve your muscle tone and strengthen your heart. The bible reassures us that our lives will also reap benefits when we are consistent in walking with the Lord.

Isaiah 33:15-16

He who walks righteously and speaks what is right... This is the man who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. His bread will be supplied, and water will not fail him.

Source and note: most of what was written above are excerpts from Footprints for women book by Margaret Fishback Powers.

- Walking closely with God can change the way we are. From the way we think and eventually how we act.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.

Ways for walking with God: 

- prayer

- reading, meditating scripture

- fellowship

- discipleship

Journal entry of Feb. 28, 2016 (discussed by me to the Ushering and Security ministry devotion)

Are you too busy for God?

 If you answered yes, then you're definitely too busy!

Reasons:

- school/work

- problems

- hobbies, etc.

Remedies:

- prayer

- quiet time or devotion

Psalm 37:5

"Commit your way to the Lord, trust alone in Him, and He shall bring it to pass."

Galatians 6:9

"And let us not grow weary while ding good, for in due season we shall reap if we do not lose heart.

1 Peter 5:7

"God cares for you, so turn all your worries over to Him."

Psalm 55:22

"Cast your burdens on the Lord, and He shall sustain you."

- We need prayer the most when we have the least time to pray

Psalm 27:8

"When thou saidst, seek ye my face; my heart said unto thee, thy face Lord, will I seek.

Journal entry of Feb. 5, 2016 (discussed by me in group meeting)

 Jesus is the living God.

He is not a thing. He is not a statue made of wood and merely carried by humans. If he is such then he'd be a weak God.

I was always skeptical about idols. These statues that people touch and assume wrongly that gives miracles. Isn't breathing enough of a miracle? Isn't the sun rising not a miracle? Is not having gravity not a miracle? Why can't people see that everyday, our very lives is a clear proof of miracle?

How I yearn for my faith to grow bigger and stronger every day, knowing all these things.

Journal entry of Jan. 7, 2016

God's revelation to me

 Luke 12:15

Then he said, "Beware! Don't be greedy for what you don't have. Real life is not measured by how much we own.

- My thoughts were not aligned to God's will and ways. I desire so much that I started to hate my life because I'm not able to obtain the wealth I want. I wanted objects and materials that I think would make me happy. Even though I know the truth that these things are all evanescent and meaningless.

Luke 12:21

Yes, a person is a fool to store up earthly wealth but not have a rich relationship with God.

- I am losing sight of what a real treasure looks like: a relationship with God! My thoughts are jeopardizing my relationship with God and even with other people! I've become a fool! :( I'm so frustrated to have earthly wealth and become envious of others and angry at my parents for not providing and catering for my satisfaction. They did not meet my standards and I thought of hating and despising them for my miserable life.

Luke 12:28

And if God cares so wonderfully for flowers that are here today and gone tomorrow, won't he surely care for you? You have so little faith!

- I have so little faith!? In spite of everything that God has done for me, I am not able to trust him completely! Why?! His faithfulness has always been obvious, yet I remain oblivious and still ask for more than I can actually handle. What's even worse is that I know about this, yet I keep going back to my erroneous ways.

Prayer:

Help me oh Lord to put my trust and faith in you alone. Help me to see and be grateful for all the things you do for me. Magnify my gratitude and turn it into a praise for you. I pray that it will produce a Christlike character in me. Help me to honor you. Grant me a pure and clean heart so that my thoughts and words lead others to you, in Jesus' name we pray, Amen.

Journal entry of May 13, 2017 

When God cleans house

 Ephesians 4:31 

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and all evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice.

The old testament prophet Jonah discovered what can happen when one refuses to get rid of a stubborn attitude. His hatred for the Ninevites was stronger than  his love for God, so God sent a great storm that landed Jonah in a giant fish (Jonah 1:4, 17) God preserved the reluctant prophet in that unlikely place and gave him a second chance to obey (2:10; 3:1-3)

Source: Our daily bread year 2013 edition

God's revelation:

- I have been stubborn in doing evil.

-Money was my security,  not God.

- I wanted my will, not God's will.

Journal entry of Nov. 19, 2016 (discussed by me in Group meeting)

this is my inspiration to one of the poems I wrote:

https://roxstarash.wordpress.com/?s=the+days+I+didn%27t+feel+worthy

Expect miracles

 - Lazarus was dead. In our minds, Jesus arrived "late." He could've saved him if only he arrived early. But in the seemingly hopeless situation, Jesus turned it around! He brought Lazarus back to life! It was a miracle.

- I too feel hopeless and fearful of my future. But Jesus is with me! Believe for a breakthrough, a miracle!

- God's timing and ways are different from a human perspective. His ways are higher therefore, it's more credible compared to ours. Besides, his ways are guaranteed true. After all, he's unchanging compared to our mindsets. I simply need to trust Him more and worry less! Keep hoping on these miracles!

- Jesus can bring the dead back to life - a living faith!

Journal entry of Dec. 29, 2019

Immanuel (part 1 and part 2)

 Luke 2:15-20

- Jesus is born as a human!

- His name means "God with us." Jesus chose to be with us instead of sitting beside God. He  could've changed his circumstances, but he chose to obey the will of God.

- He became "man" to experience what we experience. He wanted to relate with us. We can never say, "no one understands what we're going through." Because Jesus does!

- Jesus, as God himself, could've gotten anything He'd ever want, but instead chose to live a humble life of serving us himself and his life. And even now, wants us to be with him!

Journal entry of Dec. 25, 2019

Romans 8:38-39

- Jesus will never leave me alone. Just as Christmas happens every year, He's always here. He's the very reason for this season. Jesus and Christmas is eternal.

- In my time, there are many religions and even non-believers but still, Christmas prevails. Hence, Jesus does! He's the very essence of it.

"When all around me is darkness

and earthly joys have flown,

My savior whispers His promise

Never to leave me alone." - Anon

- He's definitely Immanuel! He's always with us!

Journal entry of Dec. 28, 2019

Don't be afraid

 Matthew 1:20-21

- Joseph was afraid to take Mary because she was bearing Jesus.

- The angel reassured Joseph to "not be afraid"

- Even our fears are temporary. What is eternal is God's love and the assurance he grants us because his plans go beyond what we can ever imagine. 

- Joseph's purpose is so important! He raised the son of God. We too have our own purpose that only we can fill.

- There's always hope! We just need a direction from God to see where it is.

Action plan:

keep praying to see hope in Christ.

Journal entry of Dec. 18, 2019

Occupied mind

 "Satan will use your desires and find you when you are the weakest to make you feel unworthy, unwell, unloved and turn from God. This is a plan of attack! It is not God forgetting you, it is Satan taking advantage." - @trueandlovelywords (Instagram)

Indeed it is not only when our mind is idle that the devil plays. It is also when our minds are occupied by our desires, wishes, thoughts, worries, etc. If I am not careful, I may not notice that I am being deceived. 

Action plan:

Occupy my mind with God's word and promises. Remember everything I can be and be thankful for.

Journal entry of   Dec. 7, 2019

Choice of obedience

 - Back in the old testament, people were required to give back to God. Whether it was monetary, service to events like the Passover celebration, etc. The point is that it was mandatory.

- Now, ever since Christ came, we had a choice. We could give as an act of obedience through serving, tithing, missions, etc. God is so generous to give us a choice! This shows that he is not as selfish as the worldly people paints him to be.

-Remember, God blessed me in the past even when I didn't know him yet! What more now, oh dear self? I too, have the power to choose whether to trust God or what the world thinks.

Journal entry of Nov. 2, 2019

Rich in Christ

 John 10:11, 1 Timothy 6:18-19  

- God is a generous God. If he wanted to, he could make me extremely wealthy! But why am I not? I think it must be some precaution. (I may not be ready, or it's too much for me to handle, or He wants me to seek him first)

- He gave his only Son, Jesus, not only for me but for all mankind. He does not hold back!

- God wants us not to be rich with money but to be rich in Christ!

- I think God wants me to learn how to properly honor him with my earthly wealth. I am being trained!

Journal entry of Oct. 31, 2019