Bitter and Black

I'm not the type of person who dances in the rain.

I tend to look at my life often with disdain.

The people in my life turn butterflies in my stomach into bile.

I just know deep down spending my life alone is much more worthwhile.

-

Why oh why Lord, did you have to bring me here?

Even your promise, purpose and will for me is so unclear.

I do what's best and that includes things that will honor you.

Yet the prayers that hurt me the most, none of it is coming true.

-

Maybe you should kill me now and get it over with.

Before I really become someone in your book who's unfit.

Or maybe you could take me to greener pastures for a change.

I'm sure blessing your daughter wouldn't be so strange.

-

I wonder how long ago did my heart started pumping something so bitter and black.

Maybe it's because of achievements and happiness that I lack.

It consumes me and almost all the time I wonder

If I am only here on earth just to suffer.

-

I'm serving you my cup of coffee; would you care to drink?

Will you save me? You know that my soul is quick to sink.

Decades of this life is enough for me to desire eternal rest.

I think I've had enough that I've burnt out my best.

-

Copyright 

Star Ashley Cruz

Aug. 14, 2023

 

My Heart's Desires

I'm so tired and I wanted to give up on everything.

But you reach out your hand, the grip became everlasting!

I'm disgusted with my heart as dark as coal.

It is filled with nothing good and has a hole.

-

But why do you fill it with undeserved love?

Your blood is streaming down to fill it from above.

You're trying to set me free and that's the ultimate bliss!

But why do I instead tend to still find things amiss?

-

I'm caught between my high horse and having my face down the ground.

When will I be perfected like you so I can please you and not be hell bound?

I don't want to bring you shame and disappointment.

Change me to be perfect in whatever assignment.

-

The state of my life right now, is it merely the work of the enemy?

I don't want it to be my forever reality!

I want my life to have more than just constant exhaustion.

I want your love, peace and never-ending redemption.

-

I know I'm selfish, I'm asking so much from you.

But in this wilderness, you're the only one who can help me through.

And you're so big, you hold the universe in your hand!

From nothing you designed me so surely, only you can understand!

-

Are these part of your will, the desires of my heart?

It's hard to achieve, I don't even know how or where to start.

Oh this must be the irony of our free will.

Even the seemingly right desires and plans are hard to fulfill.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Aug. 5, 2023

Misanthrope's rope

The world is moving too fast, I got left behind.

I’m all alone in this world is what I find.

I’ve never felt so small deep inside.

I’d feel embarrassed or ashamed to confide.

-

Adjusting my standards just to make ends meet.

Only receiving the bare minimum in a life, I can’t cheat.

Maybe I deserve this cause I’m a self-absorbed, arrogant bitch.

No matter how hard I toil away, I don’t get rich.

-

It’s not like a simple life looks bad to me.

Just peer into my mind and heart, you will see.

In life, I just want something mine, stable and secured.

Instead, I get a family I didn’t create where I’m constantly tortured.

-

Now I’m the man of the house because our life didn’t give me a choice.

Being left alone and resting at times are my only chance to taste simple joys.

Witnessing and/or experiencing toxicity from relatives and even family.

And people still dare to wonder why I practice and engage in misanthropy.

-

Are my heart’s desires really hard to please?

If I can’t have them, I wish to cease.

Lord, help me see beyond this scope of darkness and give me hope.

I think I’m losing my mind; I’m nearing the end of my rope.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Feb. 4 2023

 

 

 

Ultimate Source

I wish I didn't fall in love, as being alone suits me the best

But now my will and entire being is put to the test.

If only I didn't meet the one I want to spend my life with

Because starting a family or buying a house, I can't afford it.

-

All my hard work is too slow to pay off.

I don't want to be incapable, underachieving and soft.

The pity I receive feels like I'm a laughing stock among my friends and peers.

The thought of such shame, I'd rather be alone and drown in my tears.

-

I'll do my best not to be haughty when I'm finally at the top!

It's just that I want to achieve my goals, I can't stop!

I want to have them before I turn to dust.

I feel like to be happy, fulfilling these things is a must.

-

I'm sorry, but isn't it you who designed me this way?

It seems in the purpose of my life, nothing goes smoothly, sad to say.

I'm sorry I feel discontented and anxious about my life's current state.

Surely in your hands, this won't be my last fate?

-

I don't want to resign myself to such a dim outlook.

Please don't let me be lonely when you close my book!

I still want to believe in you, I badly do!

I want to finish what you've started in me too.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Jan. 26, 2023

Meaningless Slavery

How long will you make me wait?

Is our future together really not our fate?

Everyday, I wander and get lost in the wilderness,

Hating myself for ever desiring happiness.

-

The system of this world is so hard to live in!

My will to live is definitely wearing thin.

I'm bleeding inside from all the years of efforts and trying.

I just want a life that's simple, stable and self-sustaining.

-

I toil away with responsibilities for a family I didn't ask for.

Being there and helping out feels like a damn chore.

I'm in this cycle of unbreakable prison.

What am I supposed to gain from this seemingly endless season?

-

When will it be my time for success, a time to shine?

When I can genuinely say and feel like I'm doing fine.

I downgrade my goals just to make them achievable.

But they still feel like light - years unreachable.

-

But I have been a complete fool.

Have I really become money's tool?

I cannot have these beyond the grave!

I wish I could honor you with the blessings that you gave.

-

Why am I so anxious for tomorrow?

My heart's desires only lead me to sorrow.

Set me free from this meaningless slavery.

Help me manage my perspective and imagery.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Nov. 14, 2022

 Psalm 127:1-2

"Unless the Lord builds a house, the work of the builders is useless. Unless the Lord protects the city, guarding it with sentries will do no good. It is useless for you to work so hard from early in the morning to late at night, anxiously working for food to eat; for God gives rest to his loved ones."

What am I trying to achieve?

Is it God's will and purpose? I honestly don't know. I am not sure.

What does this teach me?

- Do everything for God. Do your work excellently without pushing yourself too hard because achievement is at hand despite it all because God guarantees excellence and success. You are his loved one!

- The things you're laying up on earth, seek God's help and grace for it! Without him, it can fall apart easily especially if it's not part of his plans for you. Remember: God's plan is the best of all, even when you don't see it yet. My eyes are not seeing clearly because I'm always in tears for not yet achieving it.

- Pray for it. Pray about it! Keep doing that! Do it all for God!

- God is the ultimate source of security! Don't be so hard on yourself! Depend on God! You don't have to do everything on your own.

Aug. 8. 2022 Journal entry 

 

Why does God allow hardships anyway? It’s often my question. It is often my complaint.

 

Judges 6:13a, 15

And Gideon said to him, “Please, my lord, if the LORD is with us, why then has all this happened to us? And where are all his wonderful deeds that our fathers recounted to us, saying, ‘did not the Lord bring us up from Egypt?”’ And He said to him, “please, LORD, how can I save Israel? Behold, my clan is the weakest in Manasseh, and I am the least in my father’s house.”

 

Looking at Gideon’s encounter with God, we can see that only his ancestors had a personal encounter with God. He didn’t personally experience what was told to him by his ancestors. This causes doubt. Even more so as he looked at his country’s state. They were being enslaved by their enemies – the Midianites.

Like Gideon, we too tend to be doubtful of God when we face trials and difficulties. I’m guilty of this too!

Later on, God reassures Gideon’s doubts and even answers some of his inquiries. And despite everything Gideon thought of himself and everything, God still used him. And God even thought of him differently as a person! God saw Gideon for who he really was and supposed to be.

God is our creator. He knows us better than we know ourselves. He can use us even in the midst of hardships. He’ll grant us grace to accomplish great things.

 

Journal entry of Sept. 1, 2021     

Trying

 The life I have makes me feel tired of living.

The progress, so slow, there's hardly anything.

I can't help but feel my hope is draining.

My plans and dreams, when do I start achieving?

-

Life's too uncertain for me to be patiently waiting.

What if I die tomorrow, achieving nothing?

My mind and flesh, why must they desire everything?

It makes me feel like life's constantly disappointing.

-

Working hard to achieve what I'm dreaming.

But obstacles and problems are in my way,  grinning.

The madness of this world has got me thinking,

Why on earth am I even existing?

-

Don't get me wrong, I'm thankful for every blessing.

It's just that at times, hardships can be overbearing,

It overshadows what I can be grateful for, that I end up crying

To God, who I hope will comfort me for trying.

-

Sometimes it feels better to die now than go on sinning.

But God gives me the water that is life - giving.

Little by little,  life becomes worth living.

Surely with Him, life would be fulfilling.

- 

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

August 28, 2021

All by God's grace

 Deuteronomy 9:3

But recognize today that the Lord your God is the one who will cross over ahead of you like a devouring fire to destroy them. He will subdue them so that you will quickly conquer them and drive them out, just as the Lord has promised.

The Israelites were stubborn and rebellious people. Despite this, God highly regards his promised and therefore will fulfill it. His people were not pleasing for him but he still ushers them into victory. this also shows how graceful God is! Even today, we are no different but look! God is graceful and kind. He intends to keep his covenant even when we can't. Thank God! And he even made a way for us to fulfill our part - through Christ! God is so sovereign and indeed his ways are higher than ours. He alone can fathom these!

Deuteronomy 9:4-6

After the Lord your God has done this for you, don't say in your hearts, 'the Lord has given this land because we are such good people!' no, it is because of the wickedness of the other nations that he is pushing them out of your way. It is not because you are so good or have such integrity that you are about to occupy their land. The Lord your God ill drive these nations out ahead of you only because of their wickedness, and to fulfill the oath he swore to your ancestors Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. You must recognize that the Lord your God is not giving you this good land because you are good, for you are not - you are stubborn people.

What foes these verses teach us about God?

- God is a just God. He is so holy that he cannot let sinners go unpunished.

- Despite God showing justice and discipline to the world, He remembers his promised to his chosen people.

- Good works cannot save us. Even in the days of the old testament, it shows that God chose to save his stubborn people from enemy nations merely because they are his people and he remembers his promise. It's all by his grace!

Time and time again, God's chosen people disobeyed and rebelled against God, displeasing him to the point of almost destroying them. Moses even tried to persuade and plead with God. In one point of his frustration and anger (I presume) He smashed the stone tablets God entrusted him with. This was because while he was gone, the people made a golden calf as an idol. Despite all this, God listened to Moses and gave his people another chance, not completely destroying them at least.

Who are we today? Are we Moses? God's servant who goes between and pleads with God? Who also tries to lead the people to God? Or re we the stubborn Israelites?

Whichever season we may be in, let's be thankful for Christ being our redeemer, mediator between us and God. He was able to bring Moses' role to a whole new level and even better! And despite his hardships, he remained perfect and sinless. It really is all by God's grace.

Journal entry May 15, 2021

Clay

God gives and God really takes.

Maybe I'm punished for my sins and mistakes.

My heart is drowning in doubt and sorrow.

What will become of me tomorrow?

-

I want a new mind and heart, yearning after you.

So all your plans and purposes for me will come true.

But there's so many wants and worldly distractions all over the place.

It seems my soul is wired to keep falling from grace.

-

But life is cruel and imperfect, I desire to be in your temple.

But I'm stuck in a loop of sin and repentance just like your people.

How imperfect we are yet made in your likeness.

I pray in my lifetime that your holiness I can harness.

-

Tired and hopeless, I come seeking you.

I want to surrender everything too.

Refreshed by your grace, I hope after this, I won't forget.

Lest I end up in a loop again which will cause me regret.

-

My God! My free choice and will still leaves me lost.

Am I saved for nothing? I feel bad for Christ being the cost!

Make me surrender and mold me in your way.

Save me, my potter. I am your clay.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

May 11, 2021

 Deuteronomy 8:17-18

He did all this so you would never say to yourself, 'I have achieved this wealth with my own strength and energy.' Remember the Lord your God. He is the one who gives you power to be successful, in order to fulfill the covenant he confirmed to your ancestors with an oath.

Who and what am I depending on? My work? My salary? My Job title?

Because of the pandemic, working stopped abruptly. My new job was no more. It was a blessing from God that I prayed for and he granted it. But it was taken away. I never wanted to be vacant in terms of employment that I made certain to resign only when I was confirmed to start with my new work. I did not want to be vacant in terms of receiving salary, it seems.

Now, I have no actual and concrete resources. I kept failing job applications. Money was tight. I even blame myself because I had insufficient finances to provide the medical needs of my pet that eventually lead to his death. I felt like using a lot of my savings should've helped him live, but it didn't.

I couldn't help thinking that maybe I was being punished for my sins. But surely, God is merciful! And that Christ took my sins upon him already.

What is God teaching me in this season of uncertainty and hopelessness?

What I learned from my experiences is that I need to depend on God in all aspects of life. My concerns, my worries, etc. My security isn't in my salary, as evidently experienced now. I pray that God will not abandon me. I truly need him.

Journal entry of May 8, 2021

My Good Boy

 His beautiful face, I'll never forget.

My heart and mind drowns in regret.

I thought I did everything that could be done.

Maybe it was not enough? After all, he was gone.

-

I loved him like he was family.

His death etched painfully in my memory.

Does the rainbow bridge really exist?

How long will this aching longing persist?

-

Please wait for me as I walk through the rest of my days.

It's best not to dwell on our past so much in my case.

But deep down I know you're the one I could never forget or replace.

Loving you and everyone in the heavens is an unending phase.

-

Despite everything, I'm thankful for your life from the very start.

We spent it together, from birth till your death but nothing will keep us apart.

Someday, like the good old days we'll be together.

By then, we'll be united with everyone forever.

-

Lord, is this part of the punishment for all the sins I've ever made?

Please forgive me as Christ, on my behalf has already paid.

But surely you are kind, merciful and forgiving.

Maybe my good boy's death was really an inevitable thing.

-

But now I'm still in deep sorrow.

When will it be "tomorrow"?

I hope time will ease the pain of another death.

But I'll cherish you forever, my beloved pet.

-

Copyright Star Ashley Cruz

Apr. 30, 2021

-

Mainly dedicated to Aslan, my cat. (Feb. 27, 2014 - Apr. 29, 2021)

Wilderness

 When the Israelites wandered in the wilderness, according to God's instructions, God provided for them.

The wilderness didn't have much to offer but they were all alive and their needs were met. They even had requests that were granted, yet they complained. I'm not much different.

Deuteronomy 2:7

For the Lord your God has blessed you in everything you have done. He has watched your every step through this great wilderness. During this forty years, The Lord your God has been with you, and you have lacked nothing.

True. 40 years is very long, especially in today's life span. But all throughout, God watched them and it clearly said they lacked nothing!

Right now, the pandemic is around a year and one month. God has richly provided my needs and even my wants! Thank you Lord for this!

A lot of things make me anxious, especially that I live in an uncertain season. But one thing is certain - God! He cared for the stubborn Israelites, surely he cares for me.

Just as the Israelites later arrived in the Promised land, I too can one day be out of the wilderness. Remember, it's all temporary.

Lord, help me remain faithful to you while I'm in the wilderness. And even after I get out of it.

Later in the story, The Lord allowed the King of Heshbon, Sihon, to refuse the Israelites' request to pass through his land. They fought with the, and God gave Israelites the victory.

It was all his plans.

God allows certain trials and obstacles in our lives. But we can conquer them through his direction.

Let him be the direction of your life!

Journal entry of Mar. 27, 2021

Changing Seasons

Ecclesiastes 3:1 (CEV)

Everything on earth has its own time and its own season

Philippians 1:6 (LB)

I am sure that God who began the good work within you will keep right on helping you grow in his grace until his task within you is finally finished on that day when Jesus Christ returns.

- Trees grow maturely but slowly. Like trees, we too grow with the help of time, learnings, nutrients, etc.  Trees grow through sunlight, water, etc. Some other plants are cared by people yet some other plants , even without supervision of people, grow. For instance, God provides rain. Seasons change and trees experience this too.

- trees don't grow overnight. We too, who live in a world of "instant" everything tend to think that things achieved faster are better. But everything takes time. God is never in a hurry because he has perfect timing for everything. Hence, everything in our lives are being allowed and happening for a reason. It all leads to God's purpose being fulfilled in our lives.

- Looking again at trees, some of them grow and die early but some even reach centuries. Sometimes, they even withstand typhoons and become shelter for us. Like the tree, we become strong when we are in Christ. We can withstand storms in life. Take note that this doesn't mean that we're storm-free, but as we grow stronger, we can endure life's trials. Some trees can, but some can't. Maybe they're too young and have not grown strong.

- As mentioned before, trees also experience different seasons in life. All these lead to what we are now. Seasons help us grow. And seasons don't change instantly, they also take time.

- Surrendering to God is a daily activity, not a one-time thing. Everyday, there's a temptation to sin, or choose to abide by our own desires. It's a struggle! But choosing to surrender to God leads to growth and maturity. Acknowledging our need for him is humility and God is pleased with that.

- Nothing is ever easy. This is why we need to ask God for his grace. The good news is that he's willing to give it and that he's the one who began this work in us. It's not in his character to abandon his work in our lives, that's why we can rely on him to help us fulfill the purposes he has for us!

- God is in control. Our failures and guilt may take hold but remember who is in control. Remember who will never leave you. Remember that every season changes. Remember that this life is just temporary and even more so is our problems. They don't define us!

- Having Christ-like character takes so much time, even a lifetime! Our trials on earth may be temporary but our joy in heaven is forever. It will always be a perfect season!

Source and inspiration: Day 28 of the Purpose Driven Life (expanded edition)

From Journal entry of Dec. 2, 2020

 
Revelation 5:9-10

- Jesus was the lamb of sacrifice to God. In the tradition of Jews, they sacrificed a perfect lamb to God. It is an offering to God and it must be healthy, no defects, and often times, the first born. It is supposed to be the best  among all. The sacrifice is unblemished.

- Jesus was the perfect sacrifice because He was sinless. He was also born God and from God as His Son. In short, He was prepared and acceptable as the sacrifice in exchange for us. He offered himself because He wants us all to be reconciled with God.

- It's mentioned that various people are the ones Jesus redeemed. It meant that salvation was not exclusive to a certain race, country, group of people and etc.

- We will be Kings and Priests to God. Kings back then in Biblical times were chosen and anointed carefully. Like us, we were chosen to be loved and even adopted by God! There were so many kings in the Bible with different character and background. They were chosen as leaders of people too. And we are called to lead people to Christ.

- The priests are mediators and they prayed to God on behalf of the sinners back then too. In a way, like the kings, they lead lost people back to God.

- Both the Kings and Priests (us) are to reign on earth. How do we do that? We really are to lead other people back to God!

- We can become like the Kings and Priests God wanted us to be. We can ask for his grace to allow us to fulfill it.

- We don't need to think we "can't do it." Why? Because Jesus was able to sacrifice himself for us and found us worth it. This is even before we knew him! He already knew about us and is aware of our sinfulness. He knew everything about us but still obeyed God's will to die on the cross for us. That shows how much He loved us. He washed us clean from our past, present and future sins! That's why we can be accepted as a Priest and a King.   

From Journal entry Nov. 30, 2020

My Only Sibling

 If only he didn't rely on intoxication

Whenever he couldn't handle a situation.

We're considerate of this "hobby" because he's family

But self-destruction isn't what we want to see.

-

All these years he kept his feelings all bottled up inside

Drowning in alcohol, but I see it as a weakness because of my pride.

A young and foolish self, oblivious to what I have done.

But after exploding now, boom! He's gone.

-

Arguments and quarrels, it all happened before,

Tallying it up as if I'm earning a score.

God knew the guilt was killing me in some of the years.

Now once again, I'm drowning in a sea of tears.

-

At times I  apologized, knowing my own mistake

Because losing him is more than I could take.

Even now he's very wrong, but I'm wiling to forgive and forget.

I don't want our relationship to drift away until death.

-

I'm afraid he'll ruin himself and end in hell someday.

So please Lord, please save him, I say.

Even though he truly and deeply hurt me,

I would rather be at peace because he's family.

-

But now he hates me, I'm no longer his sister.

A little flame that grew and devoured faster.

This time might've burned the bridge to my only sibling.

Please God, let it not be the ending.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Nov. 25, 2020

Help

 

God, I give up, I’m leaving the rest to you,

Nothing I’ll ever do is coming through.

Why am I ever born in such a horrible and toxic family?

Then you expect “love your neighbor” from me.

-

A toxic unteachable mother and a deceased father

Who brought death upon himself, what a bother.

Add an overly dramatic, alcoholic-victim-playing brother in the fray.

I dream of peace upon breaking away from all them someday.

-

I find solace in times of my solitude.

Suffering mental health, they’ve given me a multitude.

If only I can afford to live on my own

But it’s impossible even if all my savings are thrown.

-

I don’t know what to do with all this anger and resentment.

I thought it was sleeping and buried under deep cement.

But this demonic family just kept shoveling away,

Triggering me to explode when I tried to keep mum every day.

-

Ever since I was young, all I asked is for a happy family.

Now I want to leave them and make a real one for me.

But if I can’t marry the one I want it with,

Then a family consisting of myself alone is a better fit.

-

Why am I born into such a difficult state?

Please tell me, is this my fate?

Where is it? I beg you, please spare me some grace! I need your grace.

Are you going to kill me? Take my away, I want to see your face.

-

Sometimes, I feel like I just want to end it all.

I can’t even see a good future after all.

Am I only meant for suffering and sorrow?

That gives me no motivation to be alive tomorrow.

-

Why did they have to give birth to me?

Letting me die unborn would’ve been better for me.

Escapism isn’t what I usually promote

But in this case feels like the only antidote.

-

My thoughts and feelings written on paper

But not even that makes me feel better.

I miss the good old boring and neutral times.

Wherein I don’t have to think of sad little rhymes.

-

I emptied myself for now.

Before it all comes back again somehow.

Help me God, I beg you, please take it all away.

I don’t want to keep thinking of taking my own life someday.

-

Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Nov. 23, 2020

Don't fall asleep!

 Mark 14: 37-42   

- Jesus prayed too. Even more so when the time of God's will was about to be fulfilled.

- Jesus prayed and poured out his actual feelings to God. He was man too, even as he was God. This is why he had feelings. He felt fearful of what was to come.

- Jesus asked his friends-his disciples to pray with him in his time of need. However, they fell asleep. Like us, sometimes with God or even the people around us who need us the most, we tend to be "asleep." The spirit wants to do what is right but the body itself is weak. Being prepared and alert is important. We must always think about what is important in life and not be distracted, sidetracked or preoccupied by worldly matters. But of course, doing our daily activities is not wrong. We can do things-these mundane things excellently and even with the help of God's grace. The only thing is that, always be reminded of what's truly important, even as we do other things.

-What is this important thing? Don't fall asleep! Even Jesus had a sense of urgency in the great commission. This is despite not knowing when he'll return. Let's not slack off in honoring God in our lives! Let's make an effort to bring lost people to God! God will surely grant us the Grace to do things for him, reward us joys in life and help us fulfill our individual purposes in life.

- Another way to keep awake is to pray. Prayer helps us release to God. Our Father knows what we go through even before we utter a word. But like any good communication, it's essential for us to talk to him. And though we can't always physically hear God, we can listen to his response through his word! (This is personally recommended! He revealed so many things to me through his word.)

- Our prayers may not be answered the way we want to, but always remember that God's ways are higher than ours. We may not see it but his ways are the best. His will prevails. Accepting it humbly and remaining in obedience will please him. He is holy and sovereign. He is God after all. Having said that, He's also Our Father in heaven. Like our earthly fathers, He cares for us and wants the best for us. He is even better than them because he is faultless unlike our own faulty selves.

- Stay awake! God didn't require us to converse with him 24/7, but giving him your best time to read his word and pray pleases him. We can always pray about this and exert effort to make time for him! After all, He gave everything for us. I know we all go through so many things in life but having a special bonding time with God will surely help us along the way.

- Prayer helps in overcoming weakness. We can draw strength from our generous God.

Journal entry of Oct. 26,2020 

Fundamentals of the Christian life - Read the Word (chapter 4: Life on the word)

 What:

... It sustains us in our relationship with God.

- "Sustain" means to maintain; to keep, support or nourish. The Bible is like our vitamins! The Bible is also like water for those who get tired from walking. It's similar in our walk with God!

1. Read the word daily

How did you develop the discipline and devotion for God's word? 

- Personally, reading was easy because I liked to read. The discipline for daily devotion began when I have started to receive a seed which was planted within me. I was eager to know more about Christ! What fueled me to keep doing it despite life's difficult circumstances was my gratitude towards my salvation. Also, God has been faithful in my life and so I wanted to be faithful to him as well.

2. Receive nourishment from the word

What is nourishment? Why is it important?

- To nourish is to feed; to support; to foster; to educate. The word of God is not just our spiritual food, but also it is our source of wisdom - we learn from it.

3. Know Jesus through the word

What is one thing you've learned about Jesus through the Bible? How has this helped you grow in your relationship with him?

- I've learned many things about Jesus in the Bible. But the one that struck me the most is that even before everything, He was already there. In the beginning there's God's word, and He himself is the word. This helped me grow in my relationship with him because I know that Jesus is God. He is powerful beyond human understanding. He is sovereign and omnipresent. This means that He's always with me in my life.

God is composed of three O's:

- Omnipotent - having unlimited power

- Omnipresent - state or quality of being everywhere present

- Omniscient - knowing all things

note that omni is a prefix meaning "all"

Journal entry of Jul. 5, 2016 (discussed by me in the group meeting)

Walking with God

 A close walk with the Lord is an important part of a believer's life.

Levitictus 26:12

The Lord said, "I will walk among you and be your God, and you will be my people."

- The Bible tells us that maintaining a close walk with God is a command we must obey, not merely a suggestion we may want to consider.

Genesis 17:1

I am God Almighty; walk before me and be blameless.

- Health professionals suggest that people who want to become physically fit should try a consistent program of walking. Sustained walking several times a week will improve your muscle tone and strengthen your heart. The bible reassures us that our lives will also reap benefits when we are consistent in walking with the Lord.

Isaiah 33:15-16

He who walks righteously and speaks what is right... This is the man who will dwell on the heights, whose refuge will be the mountain fortress. His bread will be supplied, and water will not fail him.

Source and note: most of what was written above are excerpts from Footprints for women book by Margaret Fishback Powers.

- Walking closely with God can change the way we are. From the way we think and eventually how we act.

Proverbs 16:3

Commit your works to the Lord, and your thoughts will be established.

Ways for walking with God: 

- prayer

- reading, meditating scripture

- fellowship

- discipleship

Journal entry of Feb. 28, 2016 (discussed by me to the Ushering and Security ministry devotion)