Are you waiting for me to get tired too?
Because all these years, you have nothing planned to do.
It seems I'm the only one dreaming of forever.
I feel unappreciated but look, we're still together.
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You push me away as if we're not together for years.
The things you say bring me heartache and tears.
My mistakes are taken in while I overlook yours.
You don't do anything so I take charge and enforce.
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When you say that you explode too, then what about me?
You looked at someone else the third time so I can't leave you be.
I feel more irrelevant and worthless than I have ever been
Even as you proclaim that it's "nothing" and just a "little" sin.
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It feels I am not worth keeping at all.
My complacency and confidence is starting to fall.
When you said you love me, I thought I am the only one
And that you planned to make an effort to get our dreams done.
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I pray to God about you night and day
So I thought you'd do and feel the same way.
I've had a lump in my throat even as we're happy through the years.
And when I released it, the reality of what's happening increased my fears.
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I can't believe that I trusted and loved you the most
And that our relationship was something I used to boast.
Now I'm not sure of what will happen tomorrow
For I can't even get over today's sorrow.
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I'm still uncertain of your love for me
Because of all that's happening currently.
Even though you somehow answered all my questions,
I'm still drowning in doubt and hesitations.
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I too, want the "old us" back.
But my trust for you is no longer intact.
Maybe it's your turn to make the first move for I want to be on a break.
I hope by this time you'll make a steadfast effort for our relationship's sake.
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Copyright
Star Ashley Cruz
July 1, 2019
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