Maggots

My mind is filled with thoughts of you.

They bring me joy but despair too.

I wish our lives were rather smooth

Because that itself is far from the truth.

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I wanted you to fill the void in my heart

But you don't know how or where to start.

Your efforts and initiative - I waited ever so patiently.

A decade and some years passed by quietly.

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But now maggots have reached through my skin.

Not fully aware that I was dying within.

All these festering feelings have my lungs drowning.

Is this necessary in the cross that I'm carrying?

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My brave face is starting to deteriorate.

Being together - is that really not our fate?

I'm so lost and I feel that my hope for us grew dim.

I feel like our chance is now frighteningly slim.

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If it's not 'meant to be' then let's make it to be!

But why does it feel like you put lesser efforts than me?

I'm doing everything for us, not just for my own ambitions

But you're not doing enough, based on my calculations.

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Copyright

Star Ashley Cruz

Apr. 22, 2023